Why fathers should take paid parental leave

by
Jenna Vassallo
Dec 20, 2023
Person bottle feeds a baby

According to The Wall Street Journal, the number of men who took parental leave tripled to an average of 76,500 in a 6-month period ending in February of 2023 compared to five years prior.

Being in the parental leave space, we also have anecdotal evidence that more men are taking leave:

Roughly 40% of employees who go through Parentaly’s coaching program are non-birthing parents, which indicates it's becoming more normal for fathers to take parental leave.

To dig into this topic a bit deeper, we asked Google’s Erez Levin - a parental leave coach and self-proclaimed “dadvocate” - to share his perspective on some of the “whys” behind dads taking parental leave.

Here are three key takeaways from our conversation.

Parental leave promotes gender equity

Extending parental leave to fathers is not just good for the child – it has a huge impact on gender equity in the workplace.

“When a dad takes his leave, it neutralizes some of what’s really the most damaging gender biases that we see impacting women in their careers,” Erez said. “If they’re equally likely to take their leave, and assuming after they take their leave, shoulder more of that responsibility for their family, that levels the playing field.”

This can help chip away at the motherhood penalty—where women’s careers stop progressing at the same rate as men. It also obviously helps the partnership at home, reducing gender roles and improving the dynamics between husband and wife.

To normalize it, more people have to take parental leave

Erez coaches new and expecting dads at Google once a week. Their sessions mostly deal with when to take leave, how to take it and whether to take it at the same time if they’re parenting with a partner.

Because of Google’s generous paid leave policy—18 weeks for non-birthing parents—most of the dads who come to Erez are planning to take their leave. Their sessions are more focused on how to structure this time to minimize work disruptions and maximize support of their partner.

This wasn’t always the norm, though. Erez recalls that although people were supportive when he first took his parental leave, they were still surprised.

Erez believes that it’ll take more dads taking their full leave to normalize it - and suggests finding out what other dads or leaders have taken their leave: ”If they have, you know you have a little bit of air cover.”

To split or not to split your paternity leave

Erez is generally a fan of fathers splitting their leave, especially for first-time dads. He recommends fathers take at least four weeks on their own to bond with—and figure out how to take care of—their baby alone.

He feels that this delivers the biggest benefits to not just dads and their children, but to moms and women in general because it helps men empathize with a little of what birthing partners experience postpartum.

“It’s really hard if you don’t split your leave to not let those gender roles persist,” he said.

As we learned from this episode, how an individual navigates parental leave doesn’t have to be one-size-fits-all approach. What’s important is that all employees take the time in the first place.

Important note: This episode is informed by Erez's personal experience in a cisgender heterosexual two-parent household, but we recognize not all parents are in a husband/white partnership when welcoming a child.

To celebrate all we’ve accomplished, our team shared what they’re most proud of since joining the team:

I'm most proud of how much we have done to improve the single hardest moment for women's careers (going on parental leave) ... one that is often shrouded in insecurity and fear. We've been able to help advocate for so many women (and men!) in a way that is empowering and truly life-changing.

Allison Whalen, CEO & Founder

What am I most proud of? Growth! Growing a category of support that didn't exist before Parentaly. Growing from a one-woman bootstrapped operation to a global team of 25+ employees and coaches. Growing our overall impact for working parents, with companies investing in our parental leave programming to support employees all over the world. And growing as humans: new babies, new friends, new life experiences... all while tackling new and exciting work challenges together.

Rich Burke, Head of Growth

When I reflect on what I am personally most proud of during my time here, it's working alongside a team where we constantly evolve and optimize everything that we do in order to deliver the best possible experience for the folks going through our programs. It sounds cheesy, but there are processes that my team and I used to do 100% manually that are now completely automated and systems in place that have become second nature to how we operate. Working with such thoughtful, smart, and creative people is incredible.

Sara Ophoff, Senior Program Manager

I’m most proud about doing work that makes parents feel confident and empowered about their careers during a time that can be overwhelming and challenging – not only for our clients and users who go through Parentaly’s programs, but also with our advocacy work on LinkedIn, through our podcast and other big campaigns that make a difference. It’s been pretty rewarding to build a brand people know and love because what we’re doing resonates with so many employees’ experiences in the workforce.

Jenna Vassallo, Head of Brand & Marketing

I am so proud of the way we've approached growth with such care and intentionality - with every adjustment we've made to our offerings, we've never lost sight of our goal to provide the most supportive and valuable experience for our users. I love looking back on the early stages of conversations and building that have led us to the experience we offer today. Personally, I am extremely proud of the work I've done to scale and automate our backend!

Rachel Andes, Program Associate

I am most proud of the work we do every single day to make a positive impact on working parents! Everyday I get to work with an amazing group of people…we work hard but we also have fun.

Sarah Gruber, Client Partner

I'm proud of scaling an employee experience that consistently delivers positive outcomes for new parents and their organizations. Our north star has always been the user, and we never sacrifice our high quality bar!

Mansi Kothari, VP of Product & Experience

I feel a sense of pride that I get to work behind the scenes supporting everyone. I’m proud to see all of the collaboration between the team and how Parentaly positively impacts employees.

Leo Manalo, Executive Assistant

I'm most proud of going through the Parentaly program myself! I'm so proud to work for and promote this company in a time where parental leave and supportive policies are at the forefront of a national conversation. But beyond this, I'm most proud to call myself a participant.

Emmy Carragher, Enterprise Partnerships

I’m really proud of the work I did to expand our coaching bench globally at Parentaly. It was so rewarding, not to mention insightful, to connect with talented coaches from around the globe. This expansion not only enriched our coaching offerings but also strengthened our commitment to making a meaningful impact on families all over the world.

Nicole Hagemann-Bex, Senior Coaching Operations Manager

I have tremendous pride in the knowledge that what I am doing will change the career landscape for new parents, particularly mothers. This will make it more likely that my daughter can have a career AND a family without worrying about the unintentional negative impact of taking parental leave. Nothing makes me prouder than that.

Mindy Himmel-Brown, Strategic Partnerships

In my short time at Parentaly, I'm proudest of the work we're doing with our clients' ERG groups to elevate the stories and advice of actual working parents. It's such an impactful way to spread the word about Parentaly as an essential resource for all people growing their families, and the managers who support them!

Alex Diskin, Enterprise Account Manager

I'm most proud about using LinkedIn to connect with others. I was recently able to share a helpful return to work doc with 50+ new people looking to make a difference at their company. Was pretty cool that people from Chewy, McDonald's, Honda, Cisco, AWS, Walmart and more want to integrate just a piece of what we have to offer. Also...I'm so proud of the way I feel as an employee at Parentaly. For the first time in my career my personal interests align with my professional interests and I've never felt more motivated.

Jenny Hurwitz, Strategic Partnerships

I'm really proud of being able to help the Experience team by handling the supportive functions so they can focus on the bigger picture. It feels great to know that I’m making things easier for them and contributing to the team’s success.

James Mango, Executive Assistant
Tagged
Gender equity
Podcast recap
Work discussion

What else can men think about as they plan to take paid parental leave?

Listen to the full episode on The False Tradeoff!